Thoughts on 26

I was told once that if I was in my comfort zone, I needed to get out of it. I'm here to say that I am completely out of my comfort zone right now.

When Dallin and I discussed the possibility of us moving to California, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of peace about the decision, a knowledge that this was where we needed to be. I also had this powerful knowledge that this would be a place where I would be required to stretch, grow, be forced out of my comfort zone. I didn't know what all that growth would entail, and that scared me, but I knew this was the place I needed to be.

Two weeks after we moved here, I started to recognize the early signs of pregnancy. I was tired, hungry all the time but constantly nauseous, etc. I really wanted to ignore the signs and pretend like they were all a happy coincidence, but I knew better. I took a test, it came out positive and so being the rational person I am, took another just to be absolutely sure. I really didn't need to take another test. I knew.  I started laughing after I saw the tests, sitting there side by side on the bathroom counter. I figured laughing was a much better alternative to crying. This wasn't in the cards. We were not planning on this. Claire was still adjusting to having Declan in her life and to a big move. Declan was only 7.5 months old. We were just starting a new job with a new income and living in an apartment that was way too expensive (like all housing in California.) We had a huge student loan looming in the distance that we needed to start chipping away at. This baby didn't fit into our plans at all. 

Immediate guilt set in as I thought of all the women in this world who would be crying tears of joy at this news, including some among my own family and here I was fighting back tears with laughter. I sat there and asked, "why? Why didn't this come to someone so much more deserving than I? Why not to these amazing women whom I am related to that are so much better than me?  Why me?" Yes, I had the audacity to think, "why me?" stupid, selfish girl that I am.

Now, I've come to terms with this baby coming into our lives and rocking our world. I am excited. I am scared. I am overwhelmed. I am grateful. I don't know the struggles I will face in the coming months and year, but I know that 26 is not going to be comfortable, and I'm ok with that. I need to grow. I need to be stretched. I need to be tested. I don't really want to, because change is never comfortable and it's usually always a little scary, but it helps us become the person we never knew we could be. And I am so excited to see how this little person helps our family grow. What gender will they be? What personality traits will they have? Will they have curly hair or straight? Blue eyes or brown or green? Short or tall? Chubby or spindly? Will they look like a Calaway/Kent or a Henry/Mathews? I can't wait to find out.

So, 26 isn't turning out the way I imagined it would. It's turning out much, much better.

Mom's 26th Birthday October 30, 2013

Visiting P-Town!

At the end of September, Dallin was going to be away for a week doing some training with Oracle in Boston, so I decided that sounded like a great time to go home to Pasco and visit family! We stayed for 10 days, but it felt more like 5. It just went by way too fast! We miss everyone and Claire is constantly asking when we get to go to Grandma's house again. The kids did amazing on the airplane rides to Pasco (we went San Francisco-Seattle-Pasco) and did pretty good on the way back down as well (Pasco-Portland-San Francisco), except for a little screaming from Declan on the Portland to San Fransisco flight. He was so sick of his carseat, so I finally just let him get out and play in it while we were in the air. We can't wait for Thanksgiving when we get to see the Calaway family and we can't wait til Christmas when we get to see the Henry and Calaway families!

And now, the picture dump.

Waiting to board our plane. We left at 7:05 am from San Francisco. So early, but both kids slept for the entire first flight, so it was worth it!

On the plane to Pasco from Seattle (she insisted we buckle her kitty in to the seat next to her)

Also on the plane ride from Seattle to Pasco.

I didn't bring any fleece footie pajamas for either of the kids (it got cold at night! I wasn't expecting that!) and these were the only ones my mom had that fit Declan. We decided he would make a really cute little girl!

I got to go to the temple while I was home and it was a much needed blessing. I've missed this temple, but I have really missed just going to the temple. It had been far too long!

We celebrated Claire's birthday while we were visiting, even though her actual birthday was the day after we got back home to San Mateo. My mom and I made her a Tinkerbell cake and she loved it!

I cannot believe she is 3. Where did the last 3 years go???

Here she is in all her glory. I was quite proud (even though my mom did most of the work) :)

This poor little guy has had it rough lately. Claire has been kind of mean to him and I feel like I am the referee. That red mark on his cheek is where she scratched him. It was hard enough that it drew blood, but this was about 15 minutes after it happened.

My wonderful in-laws were kind enough to drive from Ellensburg to the Tri-Cities the Sunday before we left and we got to celebrate Claire's birthday with them as well! She got so spoiled this trip with the amount of times her birthday was celebrated! And thank you Bryce and Andrea for letting us invade your home for a few hours!!

 

These two are only 3 months apart. They both decided that Grandpa Calaway's ice cream was what they wanted, so they both just stood next to him and he fed them as much ice cream as they could handle! It was pretty cute.

The last day we were in town, my awesome cousin, Heather, was able to fit me and Claire in for hair cuts. This was Claire's first big girl hair cut and she thought it was pretty awesome.

The end of vacations stink...

The Columbia and Snake rivers from the air! I love that place.

We found Grandma and Grandpa Henry's house from the sky!

Crystal Springs Reservoir from the air! Almost home.

Here he is, playing in his car seat. He loved being free!

The announcement I technically already made

I already announced on Instagram and Facebook, but I think this little, neglected blog of mine deserves an announcement as well.

Baby #3 is making their grand debut around March 31, 2014.

We are thrilled, terrified, overwhelmed, ecstatic and about every other emotion associated with a pregnancy that wasn't really anticipated!

We WILL be finding out the gender of this one, so stay tuned for that exciting announcement!


Answers to commonly asked questions!

*Declan and this one will only be 15 months apart (if he/she shows up on their due date)
*I am just a little over 16 weeks along