You are 1 year old today! That just seems completely unreal to me. People told me that once we started having children, time would speed up. That was the understatement of the year. Time has literally flown by.
I vividly remember every tiny detail of the day you were born. I remember talking to Aunt Rachel on the phone to make sure I was really in labor. I remember the frantic look on Daddy's face as he got home from the gym and saw just how much pain I was in. I remember we hit every green light on the way to the hospital (hallelujah) and trying to walk to the elevator in the hospital lobby. I remember the way my hands shook as I tried to sign all the ridiculous waivers and forms at the L&D sign in desk and telling the nurse that I was pretty sure you were coming RIGHT NOW. I remember the incredulous look she gave me as she checked to see how far dilated I was and announced I was at a 9. I remember the beautiful blessing Uncle Marcus gave me as the epidural finally kicked in and the total exhaustion that suddenly overcame me once the pain was under control. I remember seeing your tiny head crown and wondering if you were a boy or girl, and then not caring as the next contraction hit because I just wanted to have you in my arms! And I remember the most beautiful feeling that overcame me as Daddy announced we had a baby girl and they laid you on my chest for the very first time, softly singing happy birthday to you for the very first time. It was the most beautiful song I had ever heard. I looked into your sweet face and my life changed forever.
I was overcome with feelings of love and gratitude that you were healthy and strong. I remember feeling awful guilt as I realized how much love a mother has for her daughter and painfully recalled every time I was ever a brat to my own mother, suddenly realizing how much it must have hurt her to be treated that way. And then I was filled with a deep appreciation for all that my mother did for me and I knew I wanted to be a mother just like that for you.
October 9, 2010 was the most magical day of my life. It was the day you made me a mother, and I will never forget it. Happy Birthday, baby girl. I love you more than you will ever know.