May 7, 2011

Tender Mercies

All last week I was preparing a lesson for the Young Women in our ward here in Salem. The lesson was on Individual Worth. Can I just tell you how crazy/wonderful/awful/amazing/stressful it was??

On Sunday, as I was getting ready for church, I was literally being attacked by thoughts of self doubt. My outfit wasn't cute and trendy enough. I was fat. I wasn't going to be cool enough. My lesson was gonna totally stink. The girls were going to think my handout was dumb. And on and on and on. I sat in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror when suddenly, I realized what was happening. The adversary was working overtime on me. He wanted me to doubt every good quality/attribute that I possess. He knew if he got to me, my lesson would most likely fail and those girls would not get to hear the important message I had for them. My individual worth was being ripped to shreds as I stood there in my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

I decided I had had enough. No more stupid thoughts of self doubt! So I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, said a silent prayer pleading for help to overcome my feelings of inadequacy and finished getting ready. As we left for church, I felt this overwhelming peace settle in on me, and I felt beautiful. I knew who I was and how wonderful my life was. I knew that, yes, I have a few pounds to lose. And yes, I don't have the trendiest clothes or the most unique and special style that others possess. But, I am a daughter of God and He loves me unconditionally. And that is ALL that matters.

I gave my lesson and felt like it went.... ok. I wasn't totally happy with how it all turned out, but I thought the girls felt the spirit and that was my goal. I talked to my friend Shawna yesterday (she is one of the leaders in Young Women's right now) and she said my lesson was a major hit. The girls couldn't stop talking about it and they loved the hair things I had made for each one of them. My spirit soared. I felt so good. I had wanted those girls to know that they were beautiful, talented, special princesses of a Heavenly King, and they felt it. I was on cloud 9. I had done it! It was such a major success for me and I couldn't thank my Heavenly Father enough. He is so good to me.

On another note- I am in charge of the decorations for our Relief Society quarterly activity that's coming up on Tuesday. I am super excited for it. Our theme is "Lights, Camera, Action!" and so I have been scouring the city for all things movie related. My sister in law, Staci, let me borrow some awesome popcorn buckets she has when I was up in Washington last, but she only had three, so I was looking everywhere trying to find three more. Unfortunately, I had been unsuccessful in that endeavor until last night. I had made some gourmet cupcakes for a Young Women/Scout auction that was going on last night and I needed some cheap platters to put them on. Enter: Dollar Tree. I LOVE that place. It is fantabulous. Yes. You read that right, FANTABULOUS! As I was searching, searching, searching for some cute platters, in the section I thought they would be in, I couldn't find anything. So I went to the next aisle over, and lo and behold, there were the platters. But wait... what was two shelves up, directly above the platters? THE POPCORN BUCKETS!! THREE popcorn buckets to be exact. The same as the ones Staci had lent me. Tender mercy?? I think so. I seriously almost started to cry/jump up and down in the store aisle. But I didn't. It was one of those moments where you think, "Heavenly Father seriously knows me and is 100% aware of me, isn't He?" It was an awesome moment. Needless to say, the decorations are going to be awesome and I will be sure to post pictures when it's all set up.

I am continually reminded (usually on a daily basis) of how blessed I am and I am so grateful for those blessings. Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.


Lisa said...

It's been a year now since I was a YW leader, but I remember how stressed out I would get about giving the lessons too - I always wanted everything to go just right.

I am sure your lesson was amazing!

chenry said...

I love that you always give credit to the right source. I don't think that Heavenly Father cares about popcorn buckets...just that He cares about what we are trying to accomplish within our callings and to use our creativity and resources to enhance the end result. I believe He helps us in large and small ways when we put forth a sincere effort as you certainly have!