A couple of days ago, my SIL, Hillary, echoed the challenge recently given by Glenn Beck to better our lives and to find out what we really believe. I've been thinking about that challenge and realized it is just what I need in my life right now. I need to, ask Beck says, question with boldness those things which I believe. I need to have a firm belief in the things I have stood for all my life. With a child coming into our home in a little over 3 months, the daunting task of being the kind of mother who knows has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Today, as I attended sacrament meeting for church (want to know more about my church? Click here.) I was struck deeply by the words that we were singing. I can guarantee I have sung this hymn a few dozen times in my life, but today, the words just seemed to jump off the page at me. I felt like the Lord was sending me a personal invitation to come to Him. Here are the particular phrases that caught my eye. (The hymn was hymn #185, Reverently and Meekly Now.)
"Think what I for thee have done"
"I have ransomed even thee."
"Oh, remember what was done that the sinner might be won"
"Bid thine heart all strife to cease; with thy brethren be at peace."
"And my Spirit's grace shall be like a fountain unto thee."
"At the throne I intercede; for thee ever do I plead. I have loved thee as thy friend, with a love that cannot end."
And, my favorite line, the line that hit me with such power today-
"And, be CONSTANT unto me, that thy Savior I may be."
As I sung those words, I felt like the Savior was pleading with me to remember all that He had done for me. But then, I realized, He didn't want me to just meerly remember it, He wanted me to USE that atonement in my life. He wants me to be constant in my pursuit of perfection. He wants me to continually work toward being the person He knows I can become. It was one of those beautiful moments of clarity that only happen once in a while, but moments that I look back on and cherish. Moments like those, where suddenly, things don't seem quite so hard or so dismal, but hopeful. So, as I take my personal trek toward finding out who I really am and what I really believe, I will remember the hope that I felt today.