March 2, 2009

The more I see of the world, the less inclined I am to think well of it.

I just finished my absolute favorite movie. For about the thousandth time. It has humor, romance, wit, wonderful characters, wonderful actors and, above all, it's wholesome entertainment. If you couldn't guess the movie by the quote in the heading, it's Pride and Prejudice. :) Oh yes. I am a P&P junkie! And not the new one. Oh no. NOT the new one. Kiera Knightly drives me NUTS in that movie and does not do Elizabeth Bennett's character justice. Jennifer Ehle on the other hand. . . I just love her. And Colin Firth. Seriously? Amazing. And Mrs. Bennett. Dallin can't stand her. And truthfully, neither can I. But that just proves she's an amazing actor. However, out of courtesy to Dallin, I watch this movie whenever he's not in the house. Otherwise I get mocked. Ok. I don't get mocked. The movie gets mocked. Or, more importantly, Mrs. Bennet get's mocked. Either way, I just try to spare him the obvious pain of watching it. I have to say though, everytime I get to the end of the movie and Mr. Darcy turns to Elizabeth and says, "My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth" my heart melts. And my stomach does back flips. How romantic can you get?! I am so serious when I say that too. Everytime. So sweet. I love it.

On a completely different note. . . The quote I chose from the movie is one of my favorites, because I often find myself thinking the exact same thing these days. All I seem to hear about is the awful state our nation is in and how our economy is in jeopardy. It gets me scared. And worried. And frustrated. But yesterday, I was blessed to have an experience at church that just shows how aware our Heavenly Father is of us. In Relief Society, we had an excellent lesson about having a positive attitude. I think I have a fairly positive attitude, but these days, I find myself worrying incessantly about our situation in the world and wondering how we're ever going to make it. After the lesson, we had 10 minutes to bear our testimonies. When the first woman got up to speak, I was overwhelmed by this feeling of admiration for her. And the same thing happened when the next woman got up. And the next. And the next. I couldn't sit there any longer. As I got up to bear my testimony, I looked at each of the girls in our ward and I had the thought come to me, "The next generation is going be so blessed, because of the future mothers in this room". Wow, right? Such a powerful statement. And, it was exactly what I had needed to hear. For the past few weeks, I have expressed to Dallin, my fears of raising children at this time of uncertainty. It seems the outcome of this nation is going to be bleak. But as I stood in front of those women, this overwhelming sense of peace flooded my whole being. And as I looked into their faces, I marveled at the purity and goodness of each sister. Never in my life have I felt the spirit in such a way as that. I wanted to tell everyone that there is hope for us. That our situation is not bleak, but it is beautiful. We just have to open our eyes and see the beauty. And we have to let the light of Christ fill our hearts.

I wanted to stay in that moment so much longer. I wanted to hear the testimonies of everyone. I wanted to savor that sweet, sweet spirit that filled the room. But most of all, I wanted all my sweet children who are just waiting to come into this world to know that their Mother loves them even though they're not here yet. And that for once in her life, she feels like she is finally ready to raise a righteous generation. And that she knows she can be a great mother someday. And she can't wait for those sweet spirits to enter her home. It was truly a tender mercy that I will not soon forget. I am so grateful that I belong to a church where truths are taught and where I am able to find calm amidst the storm and a reprieve from the constant waves bashing against my spirit. I know my Heavenly Father loves me.

7 comments:

Rachel said...

Ash, I'm glad you had a great experience in RS. It is always great to go and get refueled for the next week. So, how soon are we thinking about these little ones...9 months, 8 months, is operation flat tummy a decoy to throw us all off? Questions, questions....

Dallin & Ashley said...

Hahaha, no no. I think it will be awhile before these little ones enter our home. We'll let ya know if anything changes however :)

chenry said...

So glad you had a great experience in RS, and that for the time being, your turmoil is calmed. I say "time being" because the adversary will try again and again to send the waves of despair and hopelessness. What a blessing it is to know that again and again our Savior will send peace to calm the waves.

tharker said...

What beautiful thoughts, Ashley. Whenever I get worried about the things that are going on in the world, I always have the thought come to me that the Lord (in His wisdom) has saved His most valiant spirits to come in the last days. That gives me hope!

It also makes me feel so grateful that I am blessed with the opportunity to raise a few of those valiant spirits! How blessed we are to live in these days!!

:Jan the crazy lady: said...

Your feelings on this are so precious. See, I worry about my grandbabies that are on their way. But I remember someone saying this-the LDS women will be about the only ones willing to bear children in the latter times.

I am so glad that you really recieved that needed peace and answer. It is crazy times. But there is always hope and God is always in control.

Nice to see your face. I didn't recognize your comment profile and then it was like - oh my goodness, that is Ashley H...

You look absolutely beautiful in your wedding photos Ash. Congrats.

JenFielding said...

Ash, Dallin will come around. Cory humored me a few years ago and watched the first half of P&P with me. He wouldn't finish it though. But then I found out he took the 2nd half to work with him one morning, finished it, and LOVED it. He loves Mr. Collins and Mr. Bennett. Dallin just has to listen to the dialogue and get past all of the social functions that we ladies love.

I think you said something about RS too. Good job. :)

ashley said...

What a great post Ash, I often feel like this too in Relief Society. I always find it amazing to be in a ward with such young women and to hear the strong testimonies they have. It's definitely a cool experience! I still have never seen Pride and Prejudice, I hear that I am definitely missing out though...

We are so excited to see you guys this weekend!