August 14, 2010

Day 16: I'm All Alone, There's No One Here Beside Me.

Do you remember the day your parents dropped you off at college for the first time? The scene probably went something like this- Mom is crying, dad's impatient to hit the road, and you can't wait to get back to your apartment and get to know your roommates and those cute boys that walked by about a half hour ago.

I have never been one that has enjoyed leaving home, so it came as a great surprise when I was anxious for my parents to hit the road the first time they dropped me off at BYU-Idaho. I was excited to live my own life and be on my own! Then I went home for a weekend visit a few weeks after I had been gone. I bawled my eyes out as I left to go back down to Rexburg. I hated leaving. I wanted to be back in Pasco with my family and friends and forget this whole college experience. But, I grew to love Rexburg and school and even though I was still homesick, I had amazing friends and roommates (and a few cute guys to distract me) that helped me to not miss home so much.

Now, here I sit in Salem, alone once more. My family came into town for a couple of days to visit and it was wonderful. We did back to school shopping, went to the coast, had crazy kids running around from dawn til dusk and enjoyed ourselves immensely. I now know how it feels to be the one left behind. I know how my mom would feel after we would head back to school from Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Everyone leaves to go back to life as usual, and you get left behind. I have to admit, it royally stinks. I'm not a fan. But it got me to thinking, which is always a good thing. I thought about how it would feel to be left behind while the rest of my family progressed and reached that higher potential. What a terrible, terrible feeling. To see your family move on ahead of you, and to know you were being left behind, kicking yourself for not doing more. This temporary separation is nothing compared to what could be if I don't stay on my guard. I don't want to be left behind. I want to be with my family. This life will mean nothing unless I can be united with my family after we have all passed on. And it will be a glorious day when we will all be reunited and together forever.

"Families can be together forever, through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can."

Sarah and Emiline at the coast yesterday

Luke, Mathew and William

Hannah and Emi playing in the sand

Emma burying her feet in the sand to keep em cool. :) That sand was hot!

Miss Rebekah

1 comment:

Blaine, Hillary & Colton said...

Sorry for the let-down. I know no one loves their family like you do--you are going to be such a good mama. I can't wait to see you holding a little one!